God-The Best Matchmaker Ever!

Hello dear, before reading this piece I will like you to release your faith with me and say this prayer which is my heart desire for you: ‘Father, open the eyes of my heart to perceive the truth. May the light of this revelation liberate me from the snare of the evil one in Jesus’ name.  Amen’.

He Has The Best Plans For You!

Do you know that God wants everyone (except those who have the gift of celibacy) to have a beautiful sex life, and enjoy a wonderful and exciting relationship with the opposite sex? Yes He does! I guess you are surprised at that statement but before you discard this paper please read the following verses from the Bible slowly. ‘Drink water from your own well - share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love’ (Proverbs 5: 15-19, New Living Translation).

 I actually said ‘hmmm…..’ when I first saw this in Scriptures. My ‘moral background’ had made me think that sex was a bad thing, to be said only in hushed tones and everything about relationship with the opposite sex was shrouded in mystery. However after seeing some verses in Scriptures, I realized for the first time that relationship with the opposite sex is actually God’s idea. He said ‘it is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him’ [Genesis 2:18 Amplified Version]. It is a good thing that God wants us to enjoy! In Matthew 7:9-11 and Luke 11:11-13, Jesus speaks about God’s willingness to give us good gifts. He says ‘If ye then, being evil know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good gifts to them that ask him?’ (Matthew 7:11, King James Version).

The verse above is indeed loaded with so much revelation. The first thing I want you to know is that God is your father if you have believed in Jesus Christ (Romans 8:15-17, John 1:12 and 1John3:1). If this is not still clear to you please refer to the Pens For Christ articles titled ‘Understanding God As Your Father’ and ‘Assurance of Salvation’. Now compared to God, the best dads in the world are classed as evil! The preceding verses in Matthew show us how good fathers behave. They do not give their children bad gifts. Well God is far better; He gives us gifts that are not just good but also perfect (James 1:17) and suitable (Genesis 2:18). 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New King James Version) says: ‘trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths’. He shall direct your paths when you acknowledge him in ALL your ways. So why hold back on this issue of relationship? I believe that for the new creature in Christ, God has already provided for us - along with Christ - every good thing. Romans 8:32 says: ‘Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?’ (NLT). See also Ephesians 1:3.However we do not automatically walk in this provision until we co-operate with God: acknowledge Him in everything (the small and big things). In my experience this acknowledgement begins with a simple prayer like: ‘God should I do this or that?’ We are created in Christ Jesus ‘to do the good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in’ (Ephesians 2:9, New King James Version). Our desire should be therefore that we would be led by God because we are sons of God (Romans 8:14).

 The right questions to ask are: ‘God should I be in a relationship now?’ ‘If yes, is it with this person?’ Unfortunately many people ask these questions when they are already in a relationship with someone, often times ill-defined relationships (by this I mean unplanned relationships). For a lady, a guy ‘asks you out’ as we say, and you are praying about it but you guys ‘start going out’ little by little. It starts with daily night visits, hourly calls and per minute text messages and you are in it! Your emotions gradually get in the way and consciously or unconsciously you are in a relationship. For a guy, the story often goes like this – you like this girl and you decide to check her out. You gradually get close to her and a relationship starts. In both cases no time was taken to actually get a go-ahead from God before you both began to get close. My dear, you have no business being in a relationship with anybody until you have got a word from God. Therefore, you need to genuinely take time to ask what His will is and trust Him to guide you.

Romans14:23 (New King James Version) says for ‘whatever is not from faith is sin’. You need to have thoroughly settled in your heart that a relationship is God’s will for you before going into it. Don’t dabble into it with if you are still uncertain it is His will. He says in His Word: “I will 

guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”  (Psalms 32: 8-9, New Living Translation)

I understand that some people reading this article are already in relationships that they are now convinced isn’t God’s will for them. Well this is not to condemn you. God still loves you and still has an amazing plan for your life. You just need to take one step of faith. ‘Leave that relationship!’ Throw yourself over to God and He would direct your paths. And please do not try to deceive yourself in saying you are not in a relationship when actually you are doing everything people in a relationship do. Is it not funny how two people have already started saying “I love you” to each other and yet claim that they are just dating! NO! NO! NO! You are already in a relationship! God knows what is best for us and He always wants what is best for us. The relationship issue is no exception. He created marriage for your own good and His glory. ‘Trust God and let go!’

 I also want to assure you that, as His child, God loves you unconditionally (Jeremiah 31:3). Nothing can ever separate you from His love, not even what you are doing wrong now (Romans 8:31)! You are forever the object of His love. You are above condemnation (Romans 8:1). However living in sin is still bad because it limits your walk with God and prevents you from enjoying all God wants you to enjoy (Hebrews 12:1-2 and Romans 6:16)

Here Is My Own Story

Before I end this piece, I really feel compelled by the Holy Spirit to share my own story. I would really love to tell you dear reader the whole story in as much detail as possible but for the sake of the other person involved, I would be a little discreet. Let me give you a little background of my childhood. I grew up hating the whole idea of marriage. I felt it was a trap for women. A man’s legalized way of punishing women – making them house slaves. I really hated the whole idea and honestly I believed I would never get married! As a child I often used to dream that I would live a very quiet life in a small house, drive a small car and be a career woman. My only regret would be that I would not have kids (I really do love children). I resolved this problem in my mind by thinking of adopting two lovely kids or perhaps three!

 All these changed when I encountered the word of grace and faith, as I call it. I came to understand really who God was after I understood the true message of salvation (Please if you do not yet understand this request for the Pens For Christ’s article on how to get saved). I understood that God is not just loving but He is LOVE personified! Then I thought a loving God cannot be the author of something bad. Therefore if marriage is definitely God’s idea, then it must be something good. This happened in my first year in the university. I would leave you to imagine how old I was then! Before this time I never had a boyfriend, never cared about boys much apart from having them as study partners occasionally. I was really married to my books and that made me really excel in my secondary school days. 

Well my story changed from my first year in the university. First I was excited about God and I wanted to serve Him after hearing the good news of salvation. So I got involved actively in fellowship and I wanted literally everyone on campus to know about God. I began to join a group of believers in evangelism around the campus. I was really so excited about God. In this excitement, believe me, relationship with any guy was the last thing on my mind. In fact, it never crossed my mind until a Christian guy ‘asked me out’. I really respected this guy and honestly I am still grateful to him for the numerous insights he gave me into God’s Word. However this was my mistake - I neither said yes or no to his request. Honestly my first response was a NO because I was not even attracted to him but I thought that that was just me trying to be my old self, that is the ‘marriage-hater’.  So I refrained from saying ‘No’. This is what I said, ‘Ok let’s see how it goes. I don’t really know you so I can’t say yes’. Let me say again that this was my mistake and this is so WRONG! I cannot overemphasize this point. I thought I could hear God along the way but rather than hear God the ‘relationship’ grew. And as all such ill-defined relationships are, they often end up in compromises. 

At that time I was under the deception that many ladies I have been privileged to counsel now find themselves in. The deception that sex is only about the penetration act and any other thing you do physically like kissing and touching body parts, is not sex. Well, if you are still under this deception, please do read these passages of Scriptures and let God speak to you – Galatians 5:19-20, 1 Corinthians 5: 10 -13). I must say let your renewed conscience be your judge! 1 John 3:21 says: ‘If our heart does not condemn us we have confidence towards God’ (New King James Version). One good way to judge is to determine not to do in the room whatever you cannot boldly do outside the room or say boldly to everyone that you did. We are children of light. 

Well that was my story and things really did get bad. The relationship was obviously not glorifying God. Do you want to know how it ended? One day I was lying on my bed when I heard 

God call my name and say ‘What are you doing?’ This is one of the few times in my life I have heard God so clearly – almost audibly. As soon as I heard that, I immediately knew what I had to do. I picked up my phone and I ended that relationship! Believe me it was not the easiest step to take but now about three years down the road, I am so happy that I did. God has now blessed me with a man, whom words fail me to describe. We are not just so madly in love with each other but our relationship does glorify God in every sense. Since being in this new relationship I have grown closer to God even more. It’s simply amazing!

So Much Said!

I have given my own story because I believe God would use it to bless you. I obviously haven’t exhausted all I have to say on this issue. There is a lot more to say. If you read this piece and you need more help in anyway, please feel free to contact me via my email izeiru@yahoo.com.  You can also contact any other member of Pens For Christ. Our contacts are shown on this article. We love you and we are committed to helping you grow in your relationship with God. Therefore, even now, let us ‘lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensares us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith’.(Hebrews 12: 1-2). 

Make it your aim to glorify God in your relationship and other areas of life. ‘Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.* And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth’ (Malachi 2:15, NLT)

‘So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.’ 1 Corinthians 10:31, NLT

Lots of Love

Ize Weli

‘For Pens For Christ